Our featured idiot today is the woman that was driving a white Yukon like this last Thursday.
I first noticed this woman as she was speeding down a residential road, trying to turn in front of me on the intersecting street on which I was driving. When she realized that she couldn't make it, she had to slam on her brakes so that she could stop at the stop sign that she obviously had planned on ignoring.
That was her 1st slam on the brakes.
She then cut off the guy behind me because she had to be right on my tail, I guess. As we travelled along this two-lane road -- me in my car at 5 over the speed limit and her in her SUV on my butt like a... whatever -- I noticed that she would swerve to avoid any puddles or dirt in the road. I figured that this was probably because her white SUV was just washed, so I thought I'd have some fun. Knowing that sometimes there is a sprayback onto the car behind, I turned on my wipers with the washer fluid and...
Her 2nd slam on the brakes. I'm surprised no one hit her from behind. She stopped pretty fast.
When my wipers stopped, she gunned it so that she could be right on my tail again. So, naturally, I turned on my wipers and washer fluid again.
3rd slam on the brakes. I think she left some skid marks on that one.
My wipers stopped again. She gunned it to tail me again. Of course, I turned my wipers on again.
4th slam on the brakes.
By this time, you would think that maybe she would just back off. Nah. She came back up on me, but before I could turn my wipers on again, our lane was splitting into 2 lanes, so she zipped around into the lane next to me and...
5th slam on the brakes. Red light.
I looked over at her, and she was yakking away on her cell phone. Of course. So I did what any rational person would do. I turned on my wipers and washer fluid again, since I knew that they sprayed to the side a little bit. I don't think she noticed it that time, but I'm pretty sure the spray made it over there. At least that's what I like to think.
Anyway, the light turned green, and she sped out of my life for (hopefully) ever, no doubt doing 50 in a 35. It's good to know her brakes work for when she gets pulled over.
I was happy to have had a little fun with her, and I really don't feel too bad about getting her car dirty, but she could have avoided the pain of washer fluid spots if she would have eased off the gas pedal a little bit. So there you go.
I'm cracking up. That is funny. And something I would totally do.
ReplyDeleteYou know, that is a picture of my car. Just saying. Except my wheels are cooler. And I have a pink Mickey Mouse head on my antenna.
And I meant I would do the part about spraying her. Not the part about being her.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are wondering why I am laying on the ground crying from laughing so hard....
ReplyDeleteSO GLAD that you were such a quick thinker to use your wiper fluid!
I forgot about this until last night. But remember my blue Toyota Supra? Well it had headlight washers that always splashed to the side when I used them. So say someone had been on my butt, but then decided to change lanes and go around me, I could spray them with those as they drove by. I loved doing that! It was even worth getting my car sprayed on a little.
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