It's Election Day!

In honor of Election Day, I present to you the following true news story.  Remember, this is true!

While you read this, it might help if you whistle or hum the tune to "The X Files."  In fact, to help you with that, here you go.  Click play and then continue reading.  (The You Tube link is just sound... nothing to see, unless you like staring at "The X Files" logo.)




DATELINE:  DENVER, COLORADO

Today, Denver voters will vote on a ballot measure that, if passed, would set up a commission to track space aliens.  You know... actual space aliens like E.T., Mork, Marvin the Martian, Alf, and Nancy Pelosi.  The proposition calls for the city of Denver to accept reports of UFO sightings on its Web page.  Once the site is active, citizens (and maybe non-citizens?) would then be able to post their observations and sightings on Denver's city Web page.  The new Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission, created by this measure, would also review the risks and benefits of contacting aliens who visit Earth.  Yes, you read that right: "review the risks and benefits" of talking to E.T. on your child's Speak & Spell.  (Do they even make those anymore?  Maybe eBay will become useful after all!)

Proposition sponsor Jeff Peckman says the government is tracking alien sightings but refuses to make the reports public.  He says the commission will only cost about $2,000 a year and he and others are willing to pay for it.

Peckman's last big initiative—requiring the city to offer stress reduction measures—failed, which is too bad, really.  I truly believe it is the government's job to reduce my stress.

You can rest assured that I, as a seasoned and professional reporter, will keep you posted on the outcome of this most important of ballot measures... oh who am I kidding?  Have you seen how infrequently I post anything on this blog?  We'll be lucky if I get another post in before Christmas.

Happy Election Day everyone!  Be sure to vote!  Unless, of course, you won't be voting the way I did.  In that case, please stay home and eat ice cream!

Thanks to the following for contributing to this post:
CBS4Denver and DenverPost.com